Sunday, November 19, 2006

A total disaster

OK, it has a Trader Joe's, for which I am grateful, but other than that, the newly renovated Bayshore Town Center is a total disaster. The incompetent developers seem to have overlooked some basic facts about the Milwaukee area:
  • It's cold here. Nobody wants to walk outside at the mall.
  • Bayshore used to be an outdoor mall, and spent lots of money decades ago to enclose it. Did they tell you that before you reversed this?
  • People here don't like parallel parking or parking garages. They tolerate it downtown, but lots of people avoid downtown because they don't like anything that's not a big suburban parking lot.
  • Milwaukeeans love cars and suburban sprawl. An urban center where people can walk among apartments, offices, and shops? Maybe if some refugees from Chicago head up this way.
  • Narrow little streets are bad for pedestrians and drivers. Pedestrians don't like getting hit, and drivers don't like slowing down for pedestrians.
  • If you are going to build a shopping center around narrow little streets, maybe it would be a good idea to have separate truck entrances so the narrow little streets don't get completely blocked every time a store gets a delivery!
This story from the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel illustrates the problem well. The new mall has only been open for a few weeks.
SATURDAY, Nov. 18, 2006, 1:38 p.m.
By Annysa Johnson
Parking lot rage incident reported

Glendale police are investigating a report of parking lot rage today after one woman bumped her car into a pedestrian who refused to move out of a parking stall outside Boston Store at Bayshore Town Center.

Glendale Police spokesman Joel Dhein said the pedestrian was saving the stall for a friend who had yet to arrive at the spot when another driver approached to pull in. The driver asked her to move, but she refused, prompting a standoff that ended when the driver nudged the pedestrian with her car.

Police have yet to make contact with the driver to hear her version of the story, Dhein said, but at this point charges appear unlikely.

"It's a case of poor judgment on both sides," he said.

Friday, November 03, 2006

I am a grammar god

As if there was much doubt.
How grammatically correct are you? (Revised with answer key)

You are a GRAMMAR GOD!

Congratulations! If your mission in life is not already to preserve the English tongue, it should be. You can smell a grammatical inaccuracy from fifty yards. Your speech is revered by the underlings, though some may blaspheme and call you a snob. They're just jealous. Go out there and change the world.
Take this quiz!

Quizilla | Join | Make A Quiz | More Quizzes | Grab Code
Thanks, Liza!

Sunday, October 22, 2006

Choke on a Pretzel

It took a while, but the Choke on a Pretzel song is finally done!

1. In California and in New England
'Round the Great Lakes proud and blue
In the big cities we hear the people
Listen, and you'll hear them, too

The first time wasn't far enough
For someone known for standin' tough
We're waiting for the moment when
Your chance comes 'round again

Chorus:
Choke on a pretzel! Choke on a pretzel!
Bash your head against a chair
Choke on a pretzel! Choke on a pretzel!
'Til your lungs run out of air
It seems our only sure defense
Is hoping for more accidents
Can't happen to a better guy/at a better time
This twisted way to die!

2. Not by a missile or an explosion
Or from some birds with the flu
Not by some water, flooding or poisoned
Or air with too much CO2

The irony would just get lost
And snack food has the lowest cost
The greatest chance of getting through
This wish we have for you

Update: Choke on a Pretzel is now available on iLike!

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Bach a teenage virtuoso

The music world seems surprised to discover that Johann Sebastian Bach displayed a talent for music even as young as age 15, according to recently discovered manuscripts.

Duh. We know he wasn't spending all day chatting on the cell phone, because that hadn't been invented yet.

And we know he wasn't cramming for his AP calculus exams because AP hadn't been invented yet, either.

And neither had calculus, for that matter!

And don't get me going on all the TV shows Bach didn't watch after school. Watching Happy Days...transcribing Buxtehude...who do you suppose ended up the better musician as an adult?

Sunday, September 03, 2006

Remix: Star Trek and The Simpsons

Video of a Star Trek and The Simpsons theme song remix.

Pluto demoted!

The International Astronomical Union recently stripped Pluto of its planetary status it has enjoyed for over seventy-five years. Proponents of Pluto respond.

Daily Bugle: Spiderman revealed!

Perhaps Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon is more appropriate.

Drivemocion

Drivemocion, an illuminating car message sign "helps you improve communication with other drivers." This widget reflects a recent Kaiser Permanente radio advertisement informing listeners hand gesturing to other drivers is not considered exercise.

Ghost Ride Da Whip

Ghost Ride Da Whip, a new method to help you get nominated for the Darwin Awards, involves performing some fancy footwork upon exiting your moving vehicle. Insurance clauses will reflect this new trend.

Infographics - visualizing data

The International Networks Archive collects a variety of data to produce a series of infographics showing various aspects of globalization, including the popularity of the bicycle and the dominance of McDonald's over Starbucks.

Sunday, August 27, 2006

Guitar tab download controversy

It has come to my attention this week that the music industry has started to crack down on websites that post guitar tabs for popular songs. It has also come to my attention that Weird Al Yankovic has a song on Myspace about music downloading.

There is longstanding precedent in copyright law that a chord progression cannot be copyrighted because so many songs share the same chords. To wit, "Don't Download This Song" has almost the same chords as "We Are The World."

So what follows is my exercise of my rights to share my music scholarship with others.

Don't Download This Song
intro
   G     C      D     Bm     Am           C  D
   /  /  /  /   /  /  /  /   /  /  /  /   /  /  /  /   

verse
   G           Am7           C     D7     G       Bm/F#
|: /  /  /  /   /  /  /  /   /  /  /  /   /  /  /  /   

  Em7           Bm          Am7           C     Dsus4
   /  /  /  /   /  /  /  /   /  /  /  /   /  /  /  / :|  first time

chorus
   G     Cmaj7  D            G    C       Dsus4
   /  /  /  /   /  /  /  /   /  /  /  /   /  /  /  /   

   C     G        Bm7 C      Am    D      G
   /  /  /  /   /  /  /  /   /  /  /  /   /  /  /  / :|

break
   Eb           C            Eb           C
   /  /  /  /   /  /  /  /   /  /  /  /   /  /  /  /   

   G            Em           C            D     E
   /  /  /  /   /  /  /  /   /  /  /  /   /  /  /  /   

chorus
   A     Dmaj7  E            A     D      Esus4
|: /  /  /  /   /  /  /  /   /  /  /  /   /  /  /  /   

   D     A       C#m7 D     Bm7    E
   /  /  /  /   /  /  /  /   /  /  /  /   :|  and fade

Monday, August 21, 2006

The Generator Blog

This blog is not about those machines used to change mechanical energy into electrical energy. It's about software that creates software. Software to play around and have fun with.

25 Ways to Die

Synopsis: Crazed, college cartoonists collaborated cross-continentally to confer this catastrophic collection of casualties

David Attenborough: The Lyrebird

In April 2006, to celebrate naturalist David Attenborough's 80th birthday, the public were asked to vote on their favourite of his television moments. This clip of the lyrebird was voted number one. A Lyrebird is either of two species of ground-dwelling Australian birds, most notable for their extraordinary ability to mimic natural and artificial sounds from their environment.

Review of Chain Reaction Bicycles

"I just saw . This explains why put up a link to this page. There are 81,792 characters in the HTML source, which is a fantastic length for search engine bots. Thumbs up. The URL has 28 characters. Just the perfect length. It must have taken a decade to complete the page. Magnificent. The color scheme is influenced by Eastern art. Seeing Chain Reaction Bicycles, I'm simply speechless. Well, I expected the creator to create something superior. The page is standards-compliant. If only my own company would have an awesome page like that. What a great page! The page contains 84 links, a well-calculated amount. Kudos." -- Gunther Young, Hot Site of the Week

Thursday, May 18, 2006

How I got bird flu (or salmonella)

Bird flu
What's worse: chicken from Southeast Asia, or eating it with a runny egg? What can I say? It's hard to find bibimbap in Milwaukee.

Singapore's latest superhero?


It's amazing. You press the button and Green Man appears! Only problem is that Green Man is a flasher.