OK, it has a
Trader Joe's, for which I am grateful, but other than that,
the newly renovated Bayshore Town Center is a total disaster. The
incompetent developers seem to have overlooked some basic facts about the Milwaukee area:
- It's cold here. Nobody wants to walk outside at the mall.
- Bayshore used to be an outdoor mall, and spent lots of money decades ago to enclose it. Did they tell you that before you reversed this?
- People here don't like parallel parking or parking garages. They tolerate it downtown, but lots of people avoid downtown because they don't like anything that's not a big suburban parking lot.
- Milwaukeeans love cars and suburban sprawl. An urban center where people can walk among apartments, offices, and shops? Maybe if some refugees from Chicago head up this way.
- Narrow little streets are bad for pedestrians and drivers. Pedestrians don't like getting hit, and drivers don't like slowing down for pedestrians.
- If you are going to build a shopping center around narrow little streets, maybe it would be a good idea to have separate truck entrances so the narrow little streets don't get completely blocked every time a store gets a delivery!
This story from the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel illustrates the problem well. The new mall has only been open for a few weeks.
SATURDAY, Nov. 18, 2006, 1:38 p.m.
By Annysa Johnson
Parking lot rage incident reported
Glendale police are investigating a report of parking lot rage today after one woman bumped her car into a pedestrian who refused to move out of a parking stall outside Boston Store at Bayshore Town Center.
Glendale Police spokesman Joel Dhein said the pedestrian was saving the stall for a friend who had yet to arrive at the spot when another driver approached to pull in. The driver asked her to move, but she refused, prompting a standoff that ended when the driver nudged the pedestrian with her car.
Police have yet to make contact with the driver to hear her version of the story, Dhein said, but at this point charges appear unlikely.
"It's a case of poor judgment on both sides," he said.
As if there was much doubt.
How grammatically correct are you? (Revised with answer key)
You are a
GRAMMAR GOD!
Congratulations! If your mission in life is not already to preserve the English tongue, it should be. You can smell a grammatical inaccuracy from fifty yards. Your speech is revered by the underlings, though some may blaspheme and call you a snob. They're just jealous. Go out there and change the world.
Take this
quiz!
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Thanks, Liza!
It took a while, but the
Choke on a Pretzel song is finally done!
1. In California and in New England
'Round the Great Lakes proud and blue
In the big cities we hear the people
Listen, and you'll hear them, too
The first time wasn't far enough
For someone known for standin' tough
We're waiting for the moment when
Your chance comes 'round again
Chorus:
Choke on a pretzel! Choke on a pretzel!
Bash your head against a chair
Choke on a pretzel! Choke on a pretzel!
'Til your lungs run out of air
It seems our only sure defense
Is hoping for more accidents
Can't happen to a better guy/at a better time
This twisted way to die!
2. Not by a missile or an explosion
Or from some birds with the flu
Not by some water, flooding or poisoned
Or air with too much CO2
The irony would just get lost
And snack food has the lowest cost
The greatest chance of getting through
This wish we have for you
Update: Choke on a Pretzel is now available on iLike!
The music world seems surprised to discover that Johann Sebastian Bach displayed a talent for music even as young as age 15, according to
recently discovered manuscripts.
Duh. We know he wasn't spending all day chatting on the cell phone, because that hadn't been invented yet.
And we know he wasn't cramming for his AP calculus exams because AP hadn't been invented yet, either.
And neither had calculus, for that matter!
And don't get me going on all the TV shows Bach didn't watch after school. Watching Happy Days...transcribing Buxtehude...who do you suppose ended up the better musician as an adult?
It has come to my attention this week that the music industry has started to crack down on websites that post guitar tabs for popular songs. It has also come to my attention that Weird Al Yankovic has a song on Myspace about music downloading.
There is longstanding precedent in copyright law that a chord progression cannot be copyrighted because so many songs share the same chords. To wit, "Don't Download This Song" has almost the same chords as "We Are The World."
So what follows is my exercise of my rights to share my music scholarship with others.
Don't Download This Song
intro
G C D Bm Am C D
/ / / / / / / / / / / / / / / /
verse
G Am7 C D7 G Bm/F#
|: / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / /
Em7 Bm Am7 C Dsus4
/ / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / :| first time
chorus
G Cmaj7 D G C Dsus4
/ / / / / / / / / / / / / / / /
C G Bm7 C Am D G
/ / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / :|
break
Eb C Eb C
/ / / / / / / / / / / / / / / /
G Em C D E
/ / / / / / / / / / / / / / / /
chorus
A Dmaj7 E A D Esus4
|: / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / /
D A C#m7 D Bm7 E
/ / / / / / / / / / / / :| and fade
How I got bird flu (or salmonella)
What's worse: chicken from Southeast Asia, or eating it with a runny egg? What can I say? It's hard to find bibimbap in Milwaukee.
It's amazing. You press the button and Green Man appears! Only problem is that Green Man is a flasher.
Hurry, FEMA, or they will soon be calling it the Katrina of the Great Lakes:
Experts have warned for years that the [Midwest] was overdue for a disaster of this kind, saying that decades of poor grease management and a culture of fried and heavily buttered food created a highly incendiary "grease core" spread across thousands of homes, restaurants, and offices. Landfills overflowing with greasy waxed paper and cardboard only added to the danger.
It almost costs more than a penny to make a penny.
In Japan, people deliberately hoard one yen coins (worth about a penny) to protest sales taxes, because the one yen coins have cost more than one yen to make for quite some time.
I'm just sayin'.
